I CAME UPON a dating website recently, offering subscribers the chance to meet thousands of other Caribbean singles. Overcome by curiosity, I clicked through the photos of my regional brothers and sisters, sure that only the most desperate of persons would willingly sign up to the site.
To my surprise, some of the featured photos were quite attractive, a number of the subscribers claimed to be seeking friendships, with the possibility of them leading to more meaningful relationships, even to marriage. Male and female subscribers of varying nationalities and ethnic backgrounds, from age 18 and up, (many of them over 40) appeared to be looking for love.
Could it be that we who now spend so much time online, checking our e-mail, chatting with friends and reading reviews, not to forget making bill payments, shopping, downloading, (and on and on…), have also added finding the man/woman of our dreams to the list of things we do at our computers?
Social networks like Facebook and Hi-5 make it possible to check out and possibly meet more persons in your area than one might at a traditional social gathering. Who knows - after chatting with prospects online, they might also save daters the awkwardness of a first-date-gone-bad (maybe even scary!) situation.
It is certainly handy to have a database at your fingertips with dozens of gals and guys you can either eliminate or accept on the basis of age, looks, personal likes/dislikes, religious and educational background, location, etc. It’s like having your own dating agency!
On the flip side, (and as is the case in all relationships) there is the question of honesty and trust. How tempting it must be to exaggerate one’s physical or personal qualities, stretch the truth about one’s living arrangements (“no, I don’t still live with my parents”), number of children, or even (gasp!) current relationships. With a few well-chosen words, a cute photo and a snazzy profile, the dullest person can be transformed into Prince/Princess Charming. That said - can we really trust the people we meet online?
I‘ve had the “privilege” of closely observing online daters some years ago. A schoolmate enjoyed a long-distance relationship for about two years with a US citizen, while still a college student in the Caribbean. The photo which he emailed to my friend proclaimed him a heart-throb, and as he explained, he was also a part-time model.
After a month or two, my friend declared she and her long-distance beau were in love. Their daily emails and MSN chat sessions were supplemented by phone calls; birthdays and holidays were marked by gifts of perfume, jewellery and cassette tapes featuring her favourite music (pre-CD player era). It was sweet and giddily romantic….while it lasted.
Scheduled at last for a visit, her beau appeared to slide off the face of the earth - he quit responding to her emails and faded into oblivion. I never did hear about him again. Did that deter my friend from online dating? Bless her soul, it did not. She is now married to another guy she subsequently snagged online.
The reality, however, is that not everyone is looking to acquire a soul mate. Some people declare that they are just looking for a “fun” time – no strings attached. That’s fine, as long as you desire this as well. Otherwise, you could fall victim to any number of sweet-talking, utterly unscrupulous characters.
What’s your take on online dating? Fool-hardy or fabulous?